Last month, my team had a production outage at 9 PM.
I was exhausted. I hadn't slept well in days. My eyes were burning. My back hurt from sitting...
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Hmm... I think I'm starting to experience something similar, but with GameJam. I've already finished the first jam, started a second, and a third one right now. I think it's a waste of time... Ehhh... I don't know, maybe I should quit? I hope I don't hit the "join" button again while scrolling through the jam feed in the next two weeks!
This is such a real comment.
I've already finished the first, started a second, and a third one right now that's the addiction cycle. One more. Just one more. Then another.
And I hope I don't hit the join button again that's the pull. You know it's probably a waste of time. But something still wants to click.
GameJam should be fun. When it starts feeling like a compulsion, that's when it crosses a line.
I don't know if you should quit. But the fact that you're asking the question? That's noticing. That's the first step.
Thanks for sharing this. 🙌
Very interesting read, thanks for sharing! What kind of hit me most is that this was one of the reasons I quit my last job without even knowing this was one of the reasons.
A bit of context: I actually felt that I was overworked and "only lived for the job", but I - at that point - thought it was only due to the agency stress, constant context switching, too many parallel projects, etc. With a bit of distance and your help, it now more feels that I accidentally built a system where I was "the guy" to make things work. The sad part about it: I knew it slowly destroyed me, but I couldn't resist being needed and being the hero who fixed that production bug.
I started realizing that this cannot continue while on a month-long work break in Viet Nam, where I could finally let go of all the stress. And to be honest, I wouldn't solely blame the system on me, as the company kind of worked that way and glorified the hero dudes quite a lot.
Again, thanks for sharing!
This is such a powerful comment thank you for sharing.
Accidentally built a system where I was 'the guy that's exactly how it happens. Not on purpose. One yes at a time. Until one day you're the only one who can fix certain things.
The part about knowing it was destroying you but not being able to resist that's the addiction. You see the damage. But the dopamine hit of being the hero is real. And the company culture probably made it worse.
Viet Nam sounds like the kind of distance we all need but rarely take.
Thank you for this. Truly. 🙌
Did you intend to have
published: truein the title 😅It's funny I am actually experiencing the exact opposite of what this post portrays. I'm done with being needed and am actively trying to push things away. I no longer want to be that person and am actively taking strides to avoid this situation.
Delegating projects to other people. Becoming just a little less responsive. Not being as active on Slack as I have been historically. Small little steps so I am no longer the first name on people's minds when they need something.
Haha the published: true was not intentional. 😅 Thanks for catching that.
But your actual comment? That's fascinating. You're not recovering from addiction you're opting out entirely. I'm done with being needed. That's a different kind of freedom.
The small steps delegating, less responsive, stepping back same actions as recovery, but different mindset. You're not fixing a problem. You're choosing a different life.
Not being the first name on people's minds I've never heard anyone say that out loud. Most people want to be that person. You're running away from it. That's refreshing.
Thanks for sharing this. 🙌
This took courage to write.
I built the cage myself that line stopped me. Because I've done the same thing. Told myself I was being dedicated, a team player, irreplaceable. But underneath it was fear. Fear that if I wasn't needed, I wouldn't be valuable. Fear that saying no would mean becoming invisible.
The part about feeling threatened when junior devs learn your skills I've felt that too. Never admitted it out loud. But it's there. That quiet voice that says "if they can do it, what's left for me?
You naming it as addiction that's the reframe I needed. It's not dedication. It's not being a team player. It's a pattern. And patterns can be broken.
Thank you for writing this. You're not alone in this. 🙌
Urmila, this comment hit me. 💔
Fear that saying no would mean becoming invisible I've felt that too. And the junior devs part thank you for saying it out loud.
You're right it's a pattern, not an identity. And patterns can be broken. First step is recognizing it. You've already taken it.
We'll learn together. 😊🙌
most on-call cultures would call that good judgment, not addiction. the drive to help when you have context is a feature. the real issue is systems that never rotate that burden.
This is a really important distinction thank you.
You're right. The drive to help isn't inherently bad. In healthy systems, it's a feature. It's what makes teams work.
The problem is when the system never rotates the burden. When you're the only one with the context. When saying yes feels like survival, not choice. That's when the feature becomes a trap.
I focused on the individual side because that's what I can control. But you're right the real fix is systemic.
Thanks for adding this. 🙌
yeah, that's the crux of it - rotation isn't just fairness, it's resilience. a team where one person holds all the context is one vacation away from an incident
Rotation isn't just fairness, it's resilience that's the line.
One person holding all the context isn't strength. It's a single point of failure. A team that can survive anyone's vacation that's a real team.
Thanks for this. Perfectly said. 🙌
glad it landed - it's one of those things that seems obvious once you say it out loud but a lot of teams run for years without naming the failure mode
Great and very honest post! This resonates, not because I'm this kind of dev right now, but previously I went through a phase that certainly looked like it ...
Thank you.
The fact that you can look back and recognize it in your past self that's the win. Most people never even name it. They just keep running the pattern.
Previously I went through a phase that certainly looked like it that's how it works. Slow creep. Then one day, hindsight.
Appreciate you reading. 🙌